flank by flank

floyd is nothing but a gentleman. i can't just pretend he wasn't someone essential because when i do i forget what's most essential.

and it is quintessential.

but john-boy and jon b. were my best friends.

and john-boy was honestly hotter up close. i was freaking out thinking he would try and i knew i'd be exposed as someone totally heartbroken over it--jon b. hit me once and said really mean things about my looks, and i remember the girls choking me in the bathroom once. one of my best girl friends just pretended she didn't see. thanks, girl.

ain't you got my back.

and thankfully it was the boys' bathroom. they didn't know he'd left for practice. i left before he got back to go home and shower and change and eat and give him time for nookie with a new cookie, since we just slept in the same bed so we could be a bitter married couple early on.

so years later:

"you know, that was the first time had orgasms from sex, almost."

"what!? you never told me!"

"why? i was 19! no way was i gonna tell you you were going to be my first yummy he's favoritest sex! you already were! i was just getting my g-spot stroked at the perfect angle--"

"but i thought i wasn't getting through! it'd been two and a half hours, four if you count everything!"

"oh, another thirty seconds--trust me, i know now--"

"you never told me! i thought i just sucked for you!"

"so i ruined everything?"

"yeah."

twice. the second time was really fun and i so, so close.

but he was all, never mind, i can't fall in love again, this is going to turn out worse than bad; i need to party hard and forget someone, not do this, you know? i've been dying to do this the second you left and now you're back, but i've just gotten used to fucking around--

--and being with you

i would never forget.

but let's have a date.

so he hit me to make me remember one night, and that night

i knew i should have taken a chance on john-boy.

listen.

sometimes the whisper pierces deepest.

but that night it was just me, the b

and my complete innocence when he said we should make tacos.

he has never liked my face.