zesty breathing

i got so busy i never blogged this two weeks ago

fatso did a lot of bad shit

and something i caught wind of reminded me that i'd forgotten to

so

i had this roommate freshman year and a few months junior year

but one reason it didn't work out junior year

at MSSD

was because fatso was cheating on this other gal with me, raping me

and i didn't even know at first that they were an item

and then anytime i consented to going up the concrete steps to the isolated moonlight

sometimes going so far we'd have to suck security roaming the balls

hee, duck and halls

i would just sob and plead to be friends and just friends and just besties and ask why it was happening that my hands would be pinned and my mouth opened with his and just disappear into my dissociation

but he was so gossipy

he told me he didn't want to keep dating my roommate junior year

and i have known her since intake

because she had bad breath, and asked me ME me

to tell her

but fuck no it ain't my place and it ain't my kissing

and i was splintering and she couldn't figure out why

but how can someone mess with someone he supposedly loves

and someone else he supposedly loves

and then cruelly

someone he has told he loves

just to mess

with the other two

sometimes when your eyes are blue

they're what people use to fool

themselves