Saturday, July 14, 2012

mobius strips and mobility dicks

margaritas last night! duva the diva and i were toasting and squealing and i was all, hey, how did we not actually hang out at gally, goddamn!? he's got himself a real piece, a doubloon if you ask me, and i plundered that pirate's treasure and am hanging on to it if he ever texts back.

i've been called areola so many times i've just resorted to introducing myself as beth, and that's not really any fun.

maybe i'll get lucky and this hunka hunka gorgeous looooove and i will have more than one smashing date, but i did tell him i bet he's a whole drawerful of vintage tees for morning-afters, so maybe it'll just be one long swoon.

it's fun, really a ton of tingles, and i've got a teeny bebe curled up next to me after being scolded for eating a sock and the wifi password, a phantom who can't even hear the opera but has his mask with his back to me because i'm not sufficiently loving, a whole mess of cats milling about and a real hankering for zeus.

he took another $500, and he hasn't said a word to me in weeks. how he can just take money and leave me i'm all flummoxed over; he never asked for money and i thought he'd reject the peace offering or take it along with me.

in other news: Legend of the Mountain Man is terrible and lasted a lot longer than it oughta. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF JOKE IS "yes, i disappeared because you ate too much garlic!"? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF JOKE IS THAT!? it's sure not a Deaf joke, and it sure ain't in the Annals of Funny. mark wood, my dear, at least i laugh at jade! at least raymond luczak is a joke! and, seriously, what is it with giving your actors the wrong signs to use? PSE is a sad, sad pidgin that puffs up on rice but never manages to explode. and what's with giving the baby berdy a jailhouse ducktail? AND WHY DID I KEEP WAKING UP AND THINKING: "WHAT THE FUCK, THE JOKE'S LONG OVER AND THE MOVIE'S STILL GOING!?" i swear, i fell asleep after the breakfast scene and kept waking up to marvel at how long you could keep beating a dead horse...or, in this case, a seriously hippie chewbacca!

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