Sunday, March 18, 2012

snuffling towards the shuffleboard of scuttling hordes:

there's no time to blink, never.

wrote this about Dan the Man with the Polka-Dot Band (i didn't get it right til i was eight and had a polka-dot dress so 'course i got it wrong for fun then!) in 1996 or 1997:

his wife, in her misery, had fucked the dog
his son dangled from the ceiling fan
all the more reason to nurse the bottle, he thought
strolled out the door&off to work he ran

spiked his coffee with Jim Beam
a Dunkin' Donut got him through the day
he built the wall he ran to leave
we saw the tombstone but not the grave

poorly written. construx are more fun. i loved construx; they were my fraggle rock. lemmings to eat and eat and eat at the straws. yay kittehs!

so forgiving david changed most everything. liddabit o' bangin' will do you right. mosi was so fucking shitty in bed that i was super-duper nice and no mincing here on HERRINGBONESUXXOR for far too long. IT WAS AN ACT, PEOPLE! i promised myself and joeray that after clif NO MORE LOUSY SEX OR TINY PENISES. somebody likes her cock to stick it to her.

anyway, mr. cock of the walk is almost as bad as mosi. nine pretty inches with another half to pack the perfect wallaby wallop. josh was just a quarter of an inch shy. and all three suffer elephant dick BUT! david knows what a female orgasm is good for. BUT OMG IS DAVID THE BEST IN BED OMG!

i've had some amazing, sizzling-hot lovers and dates and two boyfriends here in NYC. i love my thirties; my first favorite looks like a sunburnt snowboarder bob harper, freshly thirty, only younger and with reddish hair. sweetest thing, a little dumb--and i never fuck dumb--just a bit thick and all WOW WOT IZ DAT WORD WOW I LOVE THAT YOU'RE SO SMART IT'S SEXY IN A WOMAN WOWZA. i still have the hand-drawn liz in fingerspelling and his typically ditzy addition of letters underneath.

(squee: i was so scared. and he squealed, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! i went stiff. i shifted so he couldn't get at me. and he had me all gathered up in his strong arms and me blushing and shying away with fearfearfear. he was all OMG WE ARE GONNA GET YOU THERE GET OVER HERE and scooped me up on the couch and UPSIDE-DOWN gave me the HIGH-FIVE FRENCH KISS. grimmie and i actually preferred that to regular french kiss--the taste buds really tickle each other something pink! we totally 69kissed all the damn time. SOOOO steel-spoke is all bob harper painted with jake pavelka's brush, and it's all fucking awesome AND THEN BLOWS MY MIND. from penetration alone i have a fuckton of orgasms. like rainbow-chasing unicorns.)

and that is how my sexual-peak titties xxx thirties began at thirty-two. HUR HUR TO THE BURRS. and david's the one guy since then who can't get me to orgasm during INTRAVENOUS. but his hands are so special i say UR NUMBA ONE! UR NUMBA ONE! it was almost embarrassing because kissing was always orgasm time!!!>> and he exploited that--he'd have one small foot trapping my kicking boots and thank his lucky stars that people could hear me through the kisses.

what naughtiness. what an idiot--that sign was always "in for you all up in my bidniz!" i could be sick and cramping with a tension headache and off my panties would glide. soak in that visual--

forgiving david was the best thing to do. excuse my french.

florence fabricated it better than i could, and she was only talking to her booze!

Florence and the Machine (not Dan the Man...)

shake it out

regrets collect like old friends
here to relive your darkest moments
i can see no way, i can see no way
and all of the ghouls come out to play

and every demon wants his pound of flesh
but i like to keep some things to myself
i like to keep my issues strong
it's always darkest before the dawn

and i've been a fool and i have been blind
i can never leave the past behind
i can see no way, i can see no way
i'm always dragging that horse around

all of these questions, such a mournful sound
tonight i'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
so i like to keep my issues strong
but it's always darkest before the dawn

shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh, whoooa--
shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh, whoooa--

and it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
so shake him off, oh, whoa!

i am done with my graceless heart
so tonight i'm gonna cut it out and then restart
cause i like to keep my issues strong
it's always darkest before the dawn

shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh, whoooa--
shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh, whoooa--

and it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
so shake him off, oh, whoa!

and given half the chance would i take any of it back
it's a fine romance but it's left me so undone
it's always darkest before the dawn

Oh, whoa, oh, whoa...

and i'm damned if i do and i'm damned if i don't
so here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
and i'm ready to suffer and i'm ready to hope
it's a shot in the dark and right at my throat
'cause you're looking for heaven, for the devil in me
looking for heaven, for the devil in me
well, what the hell; i'm gonna let it happen to me

shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh, whoooa--
shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh, whoooa--

and it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
so shake him off, oh, whoa!

shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh, whoooa--
shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh, whoooa--

and it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
so shake him off, oh, whoa!

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