soooooo.
these two guys could be pissed at this but the point of naming and shaming
as always
is guilt. i never really mentioned this, ever, and not to a mutual acquaintance, then one or two people in preparation for for autobio:
because, duh, he didn't rape me.
there was a point, 30 to 60 seconds.
and i don't think
by any account
he's a rapist.
no chance at all.
nathan.
we met once. hung out. he said "let's cuddle"
i knew! I KNEW.
and flew into defense
for the first real time. no more being scared and then having to be scared of the faces.
i said yes to cuddling. but i tensed. he touched me too intimately. in anger. my back was too arched. i was shivering. as usual.
but when i got scared he yelled from behind me, pulling me onto my back across his not so adonis.
i thought of fatso and how they looked a lot alike.
i could not have TWO of them haunting my head. i squinted mean right back and refused.
he relented.
"i didn't want to anyway.
i just heard about you, that you're cool and a totally easy lay.
sorry. guess it's not true."
and that is proof
(No. 1)
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