he had never been
but when he said the stimulant had made him sick (! just monday he said it had taken a week to stop feeling it, a week to quit the near-permanent priapism, stop vomiting, be clear of headaches! what a 21-year-old idiot!)
i didn't have to explain that despite liking the 20-30-year-olds, he wasn't my type. instead i explained that he was just too young. a kid.
and i find it odd
jeff is 35 and a month yesterday...and his nose is growing. he suddenly went from looking 30 to 37, 40...and i still think
the sex is amazing. we've just started holding hands most of the time
and i forget the NOSE the OLD FACE but then i snicker to myself because it LOOMS
we had a huge blowout because he'd raped me "i can't, i really miss joe" "i really don't feel comfortable" "i don't like this" "don't worry; once we get started you'll feel good"
so for weeks i was mean and refused to touch him
but now we interlace our fingers almost every time no matter where our hands end up
and he is married
and i fuck him because it's just like being with joe minus