Wednesday, March 19, 2014

field of dreams

the wreckage of yesterday's has me laid up today, and i've spent three days at home since december. fuck.

and he's pledged to call and wedge in an appointment for me but i'm declining, reclining in the only hot bath i've got. i've switched from cranberry juice to quench the blood to cranberry liquor:  malbec. we braised a pound of boneless ribs in the stuff yesterday, and the depth--oh, the rest we did in beer, and not a nuance can be traced!

this is wreckage from front to back, hips to toes. and i realize

marinating

not in the throng i was getting dressed to swallow into

i really started this to forget joe, but the more "you know how them are"

"her and me" but worst! oh, duds: "supposively"

then, a gasp of a glance at me, and, trying, trying: "supposibly"--

and i am just shuttered.

then

he tells me a dream: it's me laughing as he beats others after a clear walking dead heroism.

and i hate it; i think it's because i was snide about his wife's aversion to certain foodstuffs.

but

i can't handle

i miss

joe. not the stinky deaf one, mind.

i worry

but the safety

is in the distance


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