read
Men's Health Magazine tip
lick a woman's palm at a bar to see if she's into you
FLASHING
back
and this just after a happy relationship with a piece about women and orgasms
such a happy new start, with ben, steelbike1979
my first enjoyable sexual experience since 1997, back when jon b. seemed feminist and sweet
my first happy and actual blowjob since pricky (josh was just gargantuan, and so tender; that was that...clint was never anything i wanted)...and joe, he just never understood how special he was, how much love was lavished upon that cock, screaming: if you really loved me you wouldn't be giving me blowjobs, you'd be fucking me, when i was just too torn up to handle that dick with no time to heal because he kept raping me to test whether the screams were real...and falling all over himself in apologia
FLASHING BACK
to when i was on my way to stay with the tibbits in virginia
when the military fucking dude in the seat next to me (he was 26 and I just 16)
grabbed my head and forced me to give him head on a greyhound and my first blowjob done
clint knew
he said always, always said
"the only way to end the pain! is to keep doing what hurt! in the first place"
there was one boy at MSSD who got a scared blowjob from me...i felt so trapped...I had never given one apart from that bus-rape one and the forced dead-weights....
and i didn't know if he was going to rape me if i said no
i couldn't handle the semenn, the FLASHING BACK, so i vomited over the balcony
i tried to hate him. i didn't want a toothless lunkhead in my memorepertoire. i never went down on anyone again apart from pricky until 2010...
but it was not his fault, i don't think, and i never let on
that he had trapped me and maybe would have forced me into it because
he's kinda
dumb
and p.s. i forgave you
such a long time ago
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