oh, the thickness plots...

for all the shit he's done to her

that i call him on

i have been shocked into crying jaunts that are hysterical and last five or six hours before i can move

paralyzed with PTSD and flashbacks

because her abusive approach is nothing short of insane

and he says, "oh, but she said, when she let me back in this morning before work, and i'm lucky i could sleep in the laundry room, but my back is sore, 'you know i locked you out overnight because of my past' and i totally understand that, that's not a big deal"

and shit

but it terrifies me for days on end

that a misspent $20 escalates into physically fighting a spouse out of his or her own home

the more i've heard the more i've had to insist that it triggers my PTSD and leaves me tachy and unsure of the entire world

of even my healthiest friends' healthiest marriages

worrying that an apple slice on a floor can turn into a beating

in the sweetest of loving gazes

but she just e-mailed me my full name, my DOB, my address, my gender

so i wrote back clarifying that she is insane

and asked if the point was to come kill me at my home