recognition software: retinal scans

i was a pushover

docile

reasonable in assessing personality flaws within each relationship

offering solutions

making leeway for insecurities on both sides and

implementing

respect

is my thing everywhere i talk

but he's been quiet for nearly a week (we text daily)

she's said i probably wasn't coerced and that i need therapy for still being friends if i truly believe it

because no way could someone sane

but keri had babies with hers

and that is a barometer not of crazy but of balance

and marci is fully aware and never liked mosi, never fucking trusted him

but this she has no real issue with

and this

too

but i was crying as i put down the jeans

(calvin kleins are so cheap today, not quality, and the spandex

makes them fit almost as badly as style&co, which creates

camel toe

and looks great high across the ass cheeks by pushing them down (my ass is curvy!) but makes an ass droop and

the denim bags underneath the cheeks)

so i e-mailed her the worst and i am not the type

i told her that if her husband can tell me time and again that her pussy tastes bitter and is not a high ranker, it's so rank

then he is perfectly capable of coercion

that if for six weeks he could text me all the time saying "trust me

i will break her

i will make her agree to an open marriage

we never have sex anymore anyway so it's only fair

oh, i've been at it, i will make it happen, just you watch"

then yes, when i say that that's not how i like my men

he is capable of coercion

but

who

is this petty tattletale

it is 29 years of being told i'm ugly

20 of being raped and fighting off rapists

and one

of knowing that the guy i would marry and raise kids with

is too dangerous