Thursday, June 12, 2014

the drusilla in me

this is what years of sexual, physical and emotional abuse can do

i recognize myself less and less, and sequestering myself from assholes

who say i must admit i'm lying, and on top of that allow them to call me ugly if i want to be Deaf

and from my creepy family and sociopathic mother

has been great--until

david started hitting me because it goes RIGHT BACK to fatso

right the fuck back

i have never, not once

been really jealous, and i never talked to any of the "other women"

it just seems to me that life is life and life is long and humans suck at fidelity

but maybe it's because i know joe (not santini)

really, besottedly, with idolatry and what little he could afford

loved me

i just wrote jeff's wife back

and somehow it feels like a relief

but

who am i

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